Fangs For The Fantasy

This is something we’re extremely dedicated to and we believe that one of the prime methods of challenging homophobia and transphobia - or any prejudice - has to be through the media. No matter how many laws we pass, if our media continues to spread messages of hate and stereotyping, we will never be integrated into society. Media shapes our culture, media shapes our prejudices, media perpetuates the bigotries of our societies. We cannot talk about acceptance and respect if the books we read and the television we watch continues to push the same contempt, erasure and stereotyping. We cannot talk about GBLT people as valued, equal members of society if we continually decide their stories are not worth telling, if we continue to put their characters in the same limited roles and if we continue to spread hatred and derision through the media we consume every day.

Recognising the impact media has on our opinions of marginalised people and how they are portrayed in the media means we are forced to criticise how GBLT people are represented - in those few instances when they are. This is something we have done frequently on Fangs and will continue to do so in the future.

GBLT Characters on our shows: What do you expect us to Watch?

This erasure annoys me, it truly does. But do you know what annoys me even more?

So when Tanya Huff’s Blood Ties series of books became a TV show, bisexual Henry became straight and gay man Tony was replaced by a straight woman. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a big fan for the portrayal in the books – but that doesn’t excuse cutting them out entirely.

Even Troy crosses the line with a very straight retelling of the Illiad.

Now we’re getting Da Vinci’s Demons, that would be Leonardo Da Vinci, he was repeatedly accused of sodomy, never married, was never connected to a female lover, but repeatedly with men, drew erotic pictures of them and left his most valuable painting in his will to one of his live-in “apprentices” Da Vinci. It’s an act of wilful ignorance to not realise Da Vinci played for our team. In fact, if you don’t want to include us icky gay people then you probably need to stay away from Renaissance painters – especially Florentine Renaissance painters! But Da Vinci’s Demons?

Well, the first scene we see him in, pretty much, involves him with a bare breasted woman who he “rescued” from a nunnery and it’s repeatedly made clear that he is having regular sex with. His main love interest - his overwhelming obsession - is Lucrezia Donati. A substantial amount of his time is spent obsessing over her - and her over him; and we get several explicit sex scenes between them. So do we have any indication that Leonardo Da Vinci, actual gay man, was actually even slightly interested in men? Well, in the Tower he is accused of sodomy (Florence is apparently full of “sodomites” - shame we never saw any of them, ever) and on trial. It’s almost comic if it weren’t so insulting - firstly when he makes an ambiguous speech that amounts to “mind your own business” Vanessa speaks up quickly to remind us that he’s totally slept with her.

Later he finally confronts his accuser, they share a chaste goodbye kiss (and it’s ADAMANT that this is goodbye) and Leonardo calls it “curiosity” and “experimentation.” They then quickly plunge him naked into a bath with Lucrezia so he can finger her under the water - subtle, right? They could have just flashed “No Homo” up on the screen. But hey, we did have a murderous gay or paedophile pope (Jury’s still out) and a self indulgent bisexual Duke of Milan (now dead). That’s some epic level straightwashing

Of course it’s not unique among straight washing of historical settings. Ancient Greece? Straightest of straightopias that ever declared the overwhelming joy of vaginas and penises being united! Really. Or so 300 tells me and Troy. Or Sherrilyn Kenyon’s Dark Hunters from Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. Not only are all of them straighter than a damn laser beam, they’re freaked out by gay men or just homophobic. and so many more – I’ve actually read over 5 series using the Ancient Greek gods that are entirely straight. One actually has a homophobic Apollo. Apollo, homophobic. Or an all straight group of amazons. It makes me want to beat someone round the head and shoulders with a mythology text.

It’s not like these examples are one offs, straightening history has been a major habit of the media’s for a very long time. In fact, straightening us in general seems to be a massive requirement and reason #866 why I don’t watch these dancing reality shows is I’m sick of seeing gay celebrities shoved automatically into opposite sex pairs for dancing.

For that matter, straightening history has been a major part of society and academia for a long time. References to GBLT people throughout history have long been buried by academia and that’s on top of the forces of homophobia and transphobia that forced our predecessors to hide and closet themselves when they were alive.

Read More

Asians are highly underrepresented in the media and speculative fiction is no different. This in part is why I was pleased to see the Asian male characters Magnus Bane and Jem Carstairs in Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series and Infernal Devices Series. The importance of this should not be minimised, though fans of the series have expressed shock that Magnus is Asian and Clare has had to be steadfast about declaring his race. I must give her kudos for her insistence because it certainly would have been easier and perhaps even more expedient to allow the whitewashing to continue unabated.

We have always said that representation isn’t enough and that for a portrayal to really work, the characters must be real and have an active part in the story. One of the things that I really liked was Jem speaking Mandarin throughout Clockwork Princess. This left the reader no ability to deny that Jem is indeed a character of colour and gave him a sense of culture, which worked to separate him from the White characters that surrounded him. Can we really say that this is enough to declare Clare’s representation of Asian men in her story as good inclusion? We already know that Asian women have to be dressed in sarees during battle to merit even a brief mention.

Let’s consider for a moment that both Jem and Magnus are biracial. When it comes to characters of colour in speculative fiction, it has become rare to find one who isn’t biracial (think Anita Blake, Mercy Thompson, Ivy from Kim Harrison’s Hollows Series ) The fact that this happens at such an alarming rate simply cannot be an accident. No, rather I suggest to you that even as it serves as inclusion for many White writers, it represents a historical tendency to uplift those who are seen as closer to Whiteness. This is not to say that biracial people do not constitute people of colour but that speculative fiction has come to use biracial people as representative and in the process purposefully disconnects them from their cultures of colour. At least as far as Jem, this is something Clare has avoided by having a clear connection with Jem’s Chinese culture. The same, however, cannot be said about Magnus. Yes, Clare included obvious references to Magnus’ identity as a biracial man but it only extended to his appearance, and quite honestly, it is highly problematic to make an Asian man’s alien feature his “cat eyes.”

It is rather telling that both Jem and Magnus fit the submissive stereotype that is often associated with Asian males. We keep hearing that Magnus is a super powerful warlock, who doesn’t just give away his services and yet in both series in which he has been featured, he inevitably ends up in a servile position juxtaposed to the White characters.

    “Simon rolled his eyes. “It’s a good thing we know the person who’s dating Magnus Bane,” he said. “Otherwise, I get the feeling we’d all just lie around all the time wondering what the hell to do next. Or trying to raise the money to hire him by selling lemonade or something.”
    Alec looked merely irritated by this comment. “The only way you could raise enough money to hire Magnus by selling lemonade is if you put meth in it.”

Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

Read More

The very nature of urban fantasy means an interaction with the supernatural. Regardless of the supernatural creature that the author chooses to focus on, the one thing is certain, unless an author is making up a brand new creature from thin air, there will be a strong lore in existence, which will highly influence how the character is written.  The vampire has most certainly taken a lead in terms of representation. The werewolf is far less popular but when it does make an appearance, regardless of who the author is, the characterisation is nearly uniform.  In many ways, the werewolf can be understood as a metaphor for hyper masculinity and violence. Over the years, werewolf nature has become commonplace to explain away abusive relationships and a forced submission upon their partners.  That this is romanticized is one of the largest issues with how lycanthropy is constructed today.

Perhaps the most common werewolf trope is extreme possessiveness to the point of jealousy. These wolves demand to control and own their women and defend them like an actual wolf would its hunting territory. I still await the story when a werewolf actually cocks his leg against his woman, but I won’t be surprised when it happens.

This overwhelming possessiveness and control is constantly presented as romantic. In the Otherworld Series when Elena returns to Stonehaven, Clay simply will not accept that she won’t be with him and considers them married, despite her objections. Even after she is reconciled to their relationship, he demands near constant attention from her. Other men cannot even look at Mercy from the Mercy Thompson series with Adam growling, roaring and coming close to attacking and he is extremely reluctant to ever let her out of his sight. In the Caedemon Wolves, the fact Devin feels possessive of Tamara and is jealous when she speaks to other men is the very first sign that he actually has feelings for her - before love or affection or kindness, it’s possession. Even in Twilight Jacob forces a kiss on Bella despite her objections - to say nothing of imprinting, including small children and even eggs in the womb; marked from the womb as owned! Taking, controlling and owning their mates is an incredibly common theme.

Dominance issues are nearly synonymous with werewolf stories today. It is based in the false idea that because werewolves literally have an animal nature that they will behave like wolves in a pack.  This would be a fine assumption, if this is what actually happened but that is not the case in most stories. In the books that I have read, alphas are almost always male though we know that in real packs there is an Alpha female or male or both.

The constant jockeying for position as Patricia Briggs portrays in the Mercy Thompson series is non existent. In Briggs’ world two wolves can barely stand to be in the same car with each other simply because they haven’t figured out who is the most dominant. Dominance in this way is more of one male testing his masculinity against another through violent means.  Because the violence is happening in a werewolf pack, it is never questioned and always rationalised, as though these men don’t spend more of their time in human form.

It’s also telling how so many of these dominance games put women at the bottom of the hierarchy - a major contrast to the lives of actual wolves. In the Mercy Thompson series, women are given the same rank as their mates, no matter if they were far more dominant than the men they were with. In The Protector female werewolves are sheltered and protected and often forced to take mates for their “protection.” In the Anita Blake Series just about all the shapeshifter packs are dominated by men, female heads are remarked upon for their rarity and the main source of influence for female shifters is as mate to a male leader.

Read More

Rachel is faced with a crisis that hits very close to home – Rosewood babies are being kidnapped. Babies like her, with too many demon enzyme who normally die very young, are being stolen – each with the potential to become a day walking demon.

But it is just one move in Ku’Sox’s plan against her – the created and lethal supposed saviour of demon kind has his eyes fixed on Rachel and is determined to bring her – and, in fact, all of the Ever After down with him. The demon collective is too afraid to dare challenge him, and willing to accede to his demands even as his plans set to destroy the Ever After, render demons extinct and even end magic itself.

And he’s using children – those nearest and dearest to Rachel and Trent – to get his way, forcing hard choices and sacrifices on the people she cares for. It seems she can keep no-one safe and the entire force of the demon collective is poised to fall upon her as they panic and the Ever After shrinks.

There was a lot to love here. The world building grew immensely – but never in a way that derailed the plot or even slowed it down (though there were other factors that put on the breaks). We learned so much more about the world – the history of the gargoyles, the history of the ley lines and the Ever After and, most stunning of all, the history of the demon/elf conflict and the demons’ origins. The full nature and revelations of the demon/elf war, its origins and the nature of the demons who managed to survive since then was a wonderful shift in our perceptions of who the good and bad guys are – and suggests strongly that good and bad are just far too simplistic for this conflict. It added a lot of wonderful nuance and depth to this world. I’m sitting here rewriting this paragraph several times over because I am desperately trying not to spoil the awesome revelations but equally desperately want to talk about them – because they were so good. Even aside from the main plot line, Jenks and Belle’s ongoing revelations of fairy and pixie culture and Ivy’s storyline showing exactly what they mean when they say older vampires tend to kill themselves – it’s now very evocatively shown rather than just told.

And we got a full sense of that nuance and the epic implications of what these revelations meant in the story. Trent wants to make peace with Dali, which he’ll consider – but, given Dali’s own history – he can’t just accept the outstretched hand. Rachel’s epic speech about common demon history, about what they’ve endured, matching her own experiences to that and using it to shame Ku’Sox

We’re also definitely going to see more about the Elven goddess – which I really want to see.

The story itself was a roller coast – despite some elements I’ll discuss in a moment – it was very good at building tension and emotion. I won’t spoil, but some of the things that happened outright shocked me and added to the demand for action and excitement this book built excellently. There were also some excellently emotional scenes – the mourning, Rachel’s speech, Trent’s revelations that, for all his lofty goals, he’s a father first, Al’s drunken little binge, Rachel’s look into Al’s dreams, the rings – there was incredible emotion throughout this and I really felt for the characters

Read More

This episode opens with Kenzi and Bo fighting with a fae.  Apparently, these attacks are being ordered by The Morrigan.  It’s not long before Bo asks Kenzi what her problem is with Lauren.  Kenzi hesitates at first and then says that Lauren is bossy, territorial, and controlling.  Bo counters back by saying that Lauren finds Kenzi to be immature, irresponsible and clingy. Bo tells Kenzi, “that in the battle of BFF versus main squeeze, I think it’s time to call it truce.” 

The man that there were fighting has gone back to The Morrigan and she is not pleased that he has been defeated.

Vex has gone to see Lauren to find out why his powers are working.  She tells him that there is nothing physically wrong with him and that this must be psychological.  Finally, Lauren suggests that this is common in a fae his age, as Vex tries to use his powers to strangle her.  When nothing happens, Lauren pulls out some pamphlets to help Vex deal with his condition. After he makes comments about Lauren having trouble keeping up with Bo sexually, she orders him out of her office.

Vex heads over to The Dahl and tries to confide in Trick about his problems but Trick has put earplugs in and hasn’t heard a word he said. He then heads over to the pool tables, where Tamsin and Dyson are taking aboutwork. Dyson cuts Vex off before he can even start and says that he is not buying Vex another drink. Tamsin joins in and adds that she is tired of hearing about how the dark fae don’t want him and the light fae cannot stand him.

Vex walks off as Bo enters the room.  Bo heads over to the bar after Tamsin rolls her eyes. Trick asks what Bo has been up to and Bo assures him that after the issue with the Garuda that the dark and light have decided to work together.  When Trick points out that because Bo is unaligned that she is unprotected, Bo pulls out a picture of The Morrigan tied up.  Trick advises Bo to talk to The Ash because he believes she needs a break.  As they are talking, Vex crashes into Bo and steals her phone because that is where she has the picture of The Morrigan stored.

Bo goes to see Hale, who tells her that she brought this all on herself by handcuffing The Morrigan and taking a picture of her. Bo is not impressed and brings up Dyson’s partnership with Tamsin.  Hale asks her why she cares and Bo says she does not.  When Hale hands her a dedication to the light form, Bo rejects it saying that she is not going to make a declaration out of fear.  When Bo starts to leave, Hale calls her back to say that the staff of righteousness is missing and is believed to be in the hands of Mortimar the pawnbroker.  Hale agrees to give Bo some security, if she finds his missing relic.

Vex heads over to see The Morrigan and hands over Bo’s phone, and she deletes the photograph.  Vex is expecting a warm welcome but The Morrigan says that if he really wanted to please her that he should have brought her Bo’s head on a platter.  The Morrigan suggests that Vex’s impotence has spread to his spine and says that she won’t have him killed today.  She adds, the next time we meet, either you or Bo will be dead.

Bo heads over to Lauren’s and when Lauren says that she is just doing some doctor stuff, Bo says that she is interested in her work.  Lauren then describes exactly what she is doing and Bo suggests a movie.  Bo then tells Lauren that she has the staff of righteousness and that she shouldn’t touch it. Lauren asks what she can touch and comes onto Bo, which surprises Bo because she thought that Lauren would be too tired after last night.

Vex is lying on the couch and when Kenzi asks what’s up, Vex says it’s his arm.  Kenzi has no sympathy for him and says that now he gets to know what it’s like to walk around like her and that he should suck it up. Vex snarks back, “you know, if I were you, I’d reconsider a career in social work.” Kenzi suggests that he stop wallowing for a moment and that they start talking about something that’s really important - mascara.  Kenzi points out that Vex has amazing lashes. Vex says that it’s all in the brush technique and that he picked up a few tips from Leonardo Da Vinci. “Now that was a queen, he was all over David’s ass like curry on chips,” Vex adds. 

Bo interrupts the conversation by entering the room and complaining that she cannot  find her cell phone.  Vex of course denies knowledge, so Bo demands he shift his butt so she can look under the cushion.  I suppose some weird magic happens then because the music changes and Bo pauses briefly. Kenzi goes back to putting on her mascara and Bo says that she wishes she had a makeup buddy and that Tamsin is so mean girl. Vex questions whether Bo rifled through his duffel bag and consumed several yellow pills.  Bo simply says that she is going to talk to Dyson and then practically skips out of the room.

Kenzi says, “Lauren’s pelt is going to be steamed,” causing Vex to ask what her issue is with Lauren. Kenzi replies that “she bi banged Bo”, causing Vex to remind Kenzi that Dyson has dropped kicked Bo’s heart several times and that she still howls when he comes around. Kenzi quickly changes the subject back to mascara.

Bo goes to see Dyson and says that she does not like Tamsin and asks what she has been saying about her. This causes Dyson to ask if Bo has been drinking. She then asks Dyson if he has fake ID and something crawls down the side of Dysons neck.  Dyson tells Bo that she is so beautiful and that he has to go.  When Lauren approaches Bo, Bo says, “I think Dyson likes me. Don’t tell anyone this but I think I might kiss him.” The two wave to each other as Lauren looks on.

Lauren takes Bo back to her place for examination and says that she is stumped about what is wrong with Bo. Bo then tells Lauren that she is really hot and asks if she has ever kissed a girl. Bo then says that Lauren is a boring doctor who does not like any fun, while playing with Lauren’s stethoscope. Lauren is getting frustrated with Bo’s antics and asks if she has been in contact with anything strange. Bo brings up a guy with a magic stick and then starts laughing

Back at The Dahl, Dyson approaches Tamsin and asks her if she is playing with herself. Tamsin asks if someone spiked his beer and Dyson responds, “this one time it totally happened and I got to be Kenzi - nailed it.” Dyson then asks if Tamsin thinks that Bo likes him and that he is going to ask her out on a date. When Tamsin leans over to take her next shot at pool, some kind of creature leaps from Dyson and crawls into her ear. Tamsin start to sing, “Bo and Dyson sitting in a tree.” Dyson tells her to shush because people are listening.

Read More

Alex Craft returns to pursue a new business venture – she’s always sold her Grave Magic abilities to interested parties but with her deteriorating eye sight which is only going to get worse unless she changes the focus of her work. So, she and Rianna try their hand at being private detectives, putting their full magical skills on the job, not just the ability to speak to shades.

And their first case is a major one. People are dying – committing suicide. Only this suicide seems to be catching, leaving a string of bodies across the city. And Alex may be the only one with the magical skills to figure out what’s happening. Investigating is hampered, however, by her fraying ties with the police – she’s been involved in too many mysterious and closed cases. Worse, when a case of ghouls breaks out in the city, the eyes of the authorities fall on Alex as the state’s only known Grave Witch.

Then there’s the fae. Thanks to her father’s hidden heritage, Alex is becoming a full Sleagh Maith which comes with its own learning curve. The Queen of Winter is also losing patience with Alex’s undeclared status and pressure is mounting on her to finally pick a court.

In all I think this book did an excellent job when viewed in relation to the previous two. In Grave Witch, we’re introduced extremely well to a very large and involved world with multiple concept s. It was, as I said at the time, a very good introduction novel that set us up well. Grave Dance, however, dropped a lot of new concepts, new developments, new world building and new meta on us in a very short period of time. It was a little overwhelming and, at times, a little hard to follow – especially with it only being book two in the series.

Now comes Grave Memory and it did an amazing job of taking all the pieces that had been dropped on us in Grave Dance and put them in a nice, understandable order. It had its own plot to avoid being just about the world building (and that, in turn, carried one of the concepts from a previous book about why ripping holes in the planes is such a very very bad idea) but it also took the chance to explore what had been dropped on us and remind us where the metaplot stood at this point. So we saw Alexis’ relationship with her father, her relationship with her friends – Caleb, Holly, Tamara and Rianna bringing us up to date on them. It reminded us of her faerie holding, defined exactly what her faerie blood meant and what that manes in relation to the courts and – again – what those courts where and what they meant to degree. We got to see where her almost-relationships with Death and Falin stood and what the principle oppositions were. We even got an expansion on the Soul collectors – not a lot, certainly not to reveal all of their secrets by any stretch, but it was another addition of information without adding more to our already very full plate.

I think this book did an excellent job of balancing and grounding the series, explaining the meta rather than advancing it, letting everyone do a quick recap and figure out where all the various players in this game.

Read More

Aidan

The gang is all together cooking dinner – which only Josh eats of course. Yet that doesn’t stop Sally and Aidan doubting the Jewish werewolf with inept knife skills ability to prepare it appropriately. They also have a fun snarky conversation about terrible ways to die, Aidan and Josh listing something that happened to them that was the other’s fault and poking fun at Sally’s balance of the universe killing people thing. And Aidan gets more and more serious insists that they don’t have to die and they’re not going to die.

And Aidan wakes up from his little odd hallucination underground where Mother buried him. He isn’t looking good and has clearly been buried for some time, going by the raging facial hair.

He is dug up (while he babbles apologies to Mother) by someone who claims to be a friend (and carries a stake, so not that friendly. Or maybe just sensibly cautious). His name is Micky and he puts some kind of metal contraption over Aidan’s head.

When he wakes, it seems the contraption is some kind of prop from Saw or Silence of the Lambs that covers his jaw and stops him nibbling on people. He’s in a nasty dank basement with blood bags and blood stained rags and other unpleasant things you really don’t want to wake up to. The man tells Aidan that he’s one of the few left that “they’re all dead” (I assume the other vampires) and those left want his blood because he’s “pure” and they believe it will cure them. And Micky is going to sell that blood.

Of course, dealing with vampires isn’t the most sensible option and when his customer arrives – Atlee (one of the Amish vampires who are part of the Dutch we have seen before) and stakes him with his own stake, unable to pay Micky’s prices. He rescues Aidan, empties the fridge of blood and helps Aidan leaves – but Atlee stops him feeding on Micky, telling him the blood can kill him.

They drive off and Atlee explains the situation. Mother’s dead, they’re all dead or disappeared searching for untainted blood. Apparently the latest flu epidemic left human blood tainted and any vampire who feeds on it gets sick – including Atlee who already has lesions around his face.  Atlee thinks Aidan may be the answer. Which is when Aidan’s hallucinations kick in again, with Hallucination!Sally pointing out he’s about to be eaten by a pack of rabid, virus stricken, Amish vampires (which sounds ridiculous no matter how you phrase it). In fact can we keep them around? Hallucination!Sally and Hallucination!Josh are waaay more fun than their reality counterparts. They’re joined by Hallucination!Bishop and after some hilarious banter (I love these, we gotta keep them) they encourages Aidan to fight – he attacks Atlee but in his weakened state the other vampire wins and bites him, hoping Aidan’s blood will save him (Hallucination!Bishop apologises).

Having drunk from Aidan, Atlee is shocked to realise that his blood isn’t the cure – and crumbles to death in the driver’s seat, causing the van to crash.

Aidan lies by the side of the road, not looking well, while Hallucination!Josh and Hallucination!Sally watch him and get angry over him dying. Aidan insists he’s not going to die, gasping and fighting and willing to live.


Sally

Sally is in limbo, which has a nifty fuzzy black and white ghosty effect, running with 2 companions, Nick and Stevie (old shredded ghosts – actually ghosts Sally shredded, he who constantly drowned in the Dr. Who scarf and the kid she went to school with). They’re trying to get back to the living world and it isn’t going well. After her failed attempt to get through the door of the house, Stevie and Nick disappear.

She goes and finds them – Nick in a lake, drowning again, and Stevie (who committed suicide, albeit with pills) hanging from a tree, watching his family go on without him; their personal limbos. They return to the house, the door doesn’t open, again, and her companions disappear, again. Looks like this is Sally’s personal limbo. Nick and Stevie try to talk her out of continually trying again and again.

Read More

I normally summarise books before reviewing them, a brief synopsis. I can’t do it with this one, it just devolves into sarcasm every time I try.

Anyone who has read Fangs for the Fantasy for any length of time will know we have something of a love/hate relationship with The Vampire Diaries TV show and are frequent critics. Well, let me take this opportunity to say something good about the TV show and its writers – I am impressed, no, amazed – that you managed to extract anything even semi-redeemable from this book. I thought pulling the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series from that awful film was impressive, but this is downright miraculous. With book reviewing there’s always a strong element of the subjective, though I have to say, in the past I have been bemused that some people can be such fans of things I’ve hated. This book doesn’t leave me bemused, it leaves me wanting to hold its fans, comfort them and assure them that they’re good people and don’t need to punish themselves like this.

So why do I hate this book? Let me count the ways!

First and foremost is Elena herself, one of the most unpleasant protagonists you’ll ever have the displeasure to meet. And this is from someone who has read Twilight, Sookie Stackhouse and even The Aurora Teagarden Series (previous candidate for “protagonist we’d most like to chop up and bury under the rockery” prize). You know those YA novels with the ridiculously over-the-top popular mean girls, the Satan Cheerleaders? That’s Elena! I can’t imagine how anyone is supposed to sympathise with this girl. She’s unbelievably selfish and self-absorbed – everything is about her. People who aren’t her friends fawn after her (especially if they’re “plain”) and are treated like servants, she just dishes out orders and expects to be obeyed. Her 2 friends Bonnie (who is characterised by having woo-woo) and Meredith (who isn’t characterised at all) and her ex Matt (the one person who accuses Elena of being a self-centred manipulator, then apologises when her lip starts wobbling and the waterworks begin) exist to serve. Matt goes to the prom with her knowing she’s stalking Stefan, Bonnie and Meredith abandon their dates to go find Elena, everything they do is about Elena. They have no independent purpose in life – they serve Elena and she expects them to.

The way Elena treats her friends is appalling. Not just the servants she deems unworthy of friendship (though those are servants – and flirting with a boy even while his girlfriend watches in tears? Totally ok), but Bonnie and Meredith as well. After the second or possibly third attempt to stalk an unwilling Stefan, they both suggest that maybe, just maybe she might want to let it go – to which she loses her ever loving shit and storms off telling them both she’ll find new best friends (and they still follow her! Aaargh!) The way she speaks to them is appalling, it really sounds more like a boss to employees they don’t like very much. And Matt? When she breaks up with him she tells him what he feels (because it’s easier for her to pretend he doesn’t care) and then uses her ex as a servant to help her snare her new man. And then is actually jealous of him because of his friendship with Stefan. She had a friend, Caroline, who has turned into someone I’m supposed to hate, I guess, and stopped fawning after Elena but I want to cheer her on. Go Caroline, escape the terrible Elena servitude. Of course, Elena doesn’t care WHY her friend is angry and forgets about her for weeks on end, focusing on Her Man She Will Claim. And it’s not just friends – with someone in town attacking young people, Aunt Judith is often worried about Elena. Does Elena care? Not a jot! Judith’s worries are brushed aside with contempt – she stays out until 2:00am without calling and when Judith is upset it’s a side reference at best.

Read More

Vex and Kenzi are at an underground performance with Kenzi’s friend Aussie. When a human jumps out at Vex, he tries to use his powers to push him away but when his powers don’t work, Vex pushes him into a wall and holds a knife to his throat. Kenzi is forced to tell him that it’s all make believe and that he needs to back off.

Bo and Lauren are having sex and Lauren pauses to say that they need to start stocking the fridge with sports drinks.  Obviously, keeping with Bo is exhausting for her. She then comments, “I must be the only woman in history who has to pretend to be a ditz to repel sexual attraction.” They are interrupted when Bo gets a message from Trick asking her to come to the bar.

At the performance that Vex and Kenzi are attending, they suddenly see creatures moving quickly. The lights go out and the man dressed as a sewer alligator on stage is dead. The crowd quickly starts to disperse, as Kenzi yells for her friend Aussie.

Bo wakes up from a dream about her stealing essence from someone outside of the Dahl, which we saw at the end of last week.  Lauren asks if she is okay and Bo says that she is fine. Lauren points out that for the last two nights that she has slept over that Bo has woken up screaming and so she asks if committing to her is scary. Bo reassures Lauren and tells her to go back to sleep.

Kenzi and Vex rush in and tell Bo what happened. Vex says that he believes that the attack was fae related. Kenzi says that they have to go now but when they ask Vex to join them, he declines saying that there is a “Real Houswives” marathon on. When Kenzi moves to attack, Bo tells her that it is not worth the effort and threatens Vex if he goes near her girlfriend.

At a gym, Dyson is boxing and a woman walks in and says, “20 bucks if you kill the white boy.”  It turns out that the woman is Dyson’s new partner Tamsin. Dyson says that he has not heard anything about a new partner and she hands him a folder about a fae which is causing trouble. In even more shocking  news, it turns out that Tamsin reports to the Morrigan and their team is part of a peace project between the Light and Dark fae.

Kenzi and Bo use a storm drain to enter the area of the festival.  When Bo asks how Kenzi knew about this, Kenzi admits that after running away from home, she used to live there.  Bo says that she has never had to live below ground and Kenzi replies that her life was easier because of her abilities as a succubus.  Bo gets a call from Trick, who has contacted a weaver to help her with her night terrors.  Trick says that the weaver is specialising in annoying him and wants to know when Bo will be there.  Bo tells Trick about Kenzi’s friend, so Trick suggests that Eunice has other places to be and things to do, but Eunice grabs his hand and replies that she would love to stay. Trick begs Bo to hurry after Eunice makes a pretty blatant pass.

Bo and Kenzi come across someone wearing a blindfold.  He moves away from them when he hears a rat and then promptly eats it. They follow the man and see more people just like him. Bo says that they are fae and that they live like animals. On the ground, Kenzi sees a dead man with his leg sliced off.  When they try to leave, the exit is blocked off and they are accused of trespassing. They are interrupted by a man who is also blind and Bo tells him that ripping a man to death is barbaric.

At the festival, Dyson and Tamsin are examining the body of the man who was pretending to be the sewer alligator.  Tamsin feels that Dyson is holding back information and Dyson replies, “orders or no orders, I’ve been around long enough to know that I would be a fool to trust someone from your team.” Tamsin asks if Dyson means, “dark fae or women.”

Bo stands in front of Kenzi to protect her but Atticus says that he used to live up ground and had  wife in child who were quarantined because their poor quality of life had lead to a disease.  Atticus  says that the disease was most likely a means to an end place them out of sight  The rat eater says that his coveted home did have an ocean view.  In frustration, Kenzi strikes him demanding that he return Aussie. The eater leaves locking Bo and Kenzi in the room and gas starts to rise from the ground.

When Bo and Kenzi wake up, they’re back at home with Vex watching over them eating.  Vex asks, “how was it to finally consummate your marriage?”  Bo asks how they got there and Vex replies, “I don’t know but if I had to guess, years of latent sexual tension.” Bo and Kenzi start to beat Vex with pillows when they are interrupted by Dyson and Tamsin.

Bo heads to the precinct and it’s clearly awkward between her and Dyson. Dyson says that last night they were investigating the old subway tunnels and he smelled her perfume. Bo admits that they went in to get Kenzi’s friend Aussie.  Dyson says that city workers have gone missing and that they have been ordered to exterminate them.  Tamsin shows Bo a picture of the man she fed off of dead in an alley. When Bo says that it looks like her feed, Dyson tells her to stop talking because apparently this crime is punishable by death. Tamsin asks what she should tell the Morrigan and Bo is not at all pleased when she realises that Dyson’s new partner is a dark fae. When Tamsin asks where Bo was at the time of the murder, Dyson covers for her and says that she was with him getting out of prison.

Read More