Fangs For The Fantasy

The season finale of Almighty Johnsons! The point where all storylines can be wrapped up

Or not, as the case may be.

We start with everyone waking up in bed together. Well, Axl and Gaia wake up in bed together all lovey dovey. Anders and Helen wake up in bed together, Helen horny and Anders considerably less so. Mike and Michelle in bed together – with Mike still obsessing on the cameras Collin put in their house. And Ty wakes up in bed with Dawn – and Stacey and Olaf. Waking up from that dream, no-one’s in bed with him, but Olaf and Stacy are watching him to check on him now he’s mortal

It’s goddess day! Gaia’s 21st birthday, the day she becomes a goddess! Time for everyone to prepare.

Axl and Gaia try to avoid the whole thing as best they can – but Zeb is there to remind them and to give Gaia a gift – a pendant shaped like an “f” for Frigg. And he wants an invite, no-one ever lets him go to any of the god ceremonies. The goddesses arrive for the day – and Ingrid is determined to make it special since she never had a goddess day (she grew up without realising she was a goddess). Stacy, Ingrid and Michelle collect Gaia – and make it clear that, no, Zeb cannot be at the ceremony, mortals would defile the whole thing.

The Goddesses spend the day being very holy – at a spa, being pampered, preening and always having a drink at hand (these gods sure know how to knock it back). They realise they didn’t invite Helen (Idun) but no-one likes her anyway. They also make it clear to Gaia that no matter what god she is, they’re still her ally – and allies are important in the world of gods and goddesses.

At their flat, Zeb whines that can’t go and demands Axl turn him into Freki for real when he becomes Odin – but his whines are interrupted by Jerome, Leon and George who have come to claim Gaia for their deity ceremonies. Jerome, again, accuses them of hiding her and we have a 3 sided whine fest about Gaia being away. Axl finally calls Gaia for them and Jerome tries some creepy flirting over the phone, Gaia passes the phone to Michelle (“the one whose goddess name no-one can pronounce – poor Sjöfn) who threatens to break him in half if he doesn’t leave them alone. After that, Jerome and co decide to stay in Axl’s flat until the ceremony, just in case.

The day is spent in supreme geekiness. After a beginning load of snarking and poor Zeb being kicked out as a mortal who shouldn’t even be around them (poor Zeb) there follows a brief moment of guilt when Jerome remembers he hasn’t bought Gaia a birthday present after Zeb whines that he’s actually the only one who remembered to get her one (he sends out George who comes back with vouchers…). Then they spend the rest of the day playing computer games – then designing a computer game that involves the Maori and Norse gods. And they take it seriously as only true geeks can – yes, they’re cute.

When the ceremony finally comes around, the Maori gods change into suits – and then find their van won’t start. After much bickering and childishness, Axl gives them a lift.

Mike, meanwhile, is running with his “I want to take down Loki” obsession. Since he has Kvasir with his infinite knowledge in the basement, he asks how he kills Loki. Kvasir replies that Loki cannot be killed any more than Ullr or Kvasir can be killed – and his vessel, Collin Gunderson, can be killed like any person – knife, gun, whatever. Mike, however, is rightly worried about Loki’s power since it’s considerably more than his. Kvasir says that Loki’s power is all about fire – and to counter fire you need water – or ice.

Time for Mike to see Ty who Olaf has seen as happier than he ever has been. Mike tries to bring him in on the whole “let’s kill Loki” routine and Ty breaks the news that he isn’t actually Hodr anymore and is now a mortal. Mike responds by becoming a massive arsehole and berating him for not consulting him, telling him he’s betrayed them, telling him he’s ignoring the threat to his family and telling him he turned his back on all of them. Ty points out that Mike’s just pissed because Collin filmed him having sex with Michelle. Mike ignores how happy Ty is as a mortal and storms out announcing that he hopes Ty is happy alone.

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