Fangs For The Fantasy

This episode opens with a dream sequence of the Weavers walking through the neighborhood and getting along with the  Zabvronians.  When they get to the driveway of Larry Bird and Jackie Joyner-Kersee, they discover that their children Max and Abby have been tied up.  Larry says, we got we came for and Jackie adds, by that we mean your children. When Max starts to scream for help, Debbie wakes up. Marty tries to assure her that the Zabvronians don’t want their children, but she insists they head over to Larry and Jackie’s house.

When the Weavers arrive at Larry a Jackie’s, the Zabvronians make it clear that they don’t want their children and are happy to answer any questions they have.  When Debbie brings up Max, Larry says again, that they would never abduct one of their children and certainly not Max, because he cannot do math. Jackie gives her word as a mother not to harm the Weaver children.  Marty then asks a series of questions, which are clearly getting on Larry’s last nerve.

Back home, Debbie sees Jackie in the window and complains that the Zabvronians are always watching them.  Marty blows it off and says that neighbors are always weird. Debbie reminds Marty that not all neighbors are from another planet.  Marty asks Max and Abby if they are excited for school and they both say yes.  When Amber makes her appearance, it is clear that she is not happy and she is very sarcastic to her mother. When asked why, Amber says, “I don’t know, I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I spent the last year trying to become friends with the popular kids at my old school and now I have to start over again, all while living next to the cast of district 9.”  I don’t understand why she is taking her frustration out on her mother, because it was Marty who made the decision to move there without consulting any one. It seems to me to be yet another trope promoting the idea that all teenage girls hate their mothers.

Debbie goes back to the window and once again looks at Jackie. Jackie complains to Larry that the Weavers are always watching them. Larry replies, “ignore them, they’re animals.” Jackie is deeply concerned that the Weavers will tell people about them. Larry admits that he is not at ease with the Weavers and finds their names ridiculous.  He also points out that the Weavers “are always yelling at their filthy children.” Jackie admits that the Weaver household seems chaotic.  Larry believes that the less time they spend with the Weavers the better, but Jackie feels that it is already to late because Reggie Jackson is swooning over Amber.  Larry then admits that Dick Butkus has started following Max and Abby around.  Jackie tells Larry that the children are starting to ask to go to school and this shocks him.  Jackie wonders if they had chosen more friendly accents, if they would be less wary of them. She then goes through a series of accents which Larry quickly declares are much too sexy or annoying.  I have to admit that this scene was cute for what it was.

Dick Butkus shows up at the Weavers in full golfing regalia in the hopes of enlisting their help to talk Larry Bird and Jackie Joyner-Kersee, into allowing them to attend human school. The Weavers decide to help out but they are rebuffed by Larry, who believes his kids are getting a good education at home. Jackie Joyner-Kersee says, “husband we may be here for a long time, I think socializing with children our age might be good for our loin fruit.”  Debbie supports the idea of the “loin fruit” interacting in the belief that the better the Zabvronians know them, the harder it will be for them to eat them. Debbie reminds Marty of the year they got a live turkey and how hard it was to eat him. Jackie Joyner-Kersee announces, “like it or not, earth is our home now and like it or not, our children will attend school.”  It seems that we have shifted from the first episode, where Larry Bird had the final say on everything. After a moment of celebration, Reggie asks if there is something they must do at school to avoid drawing attention to themselves, and Debbie suggests some new clothes.  Debbie asks if their clothing which is meant to make them blend into the golf community, makes them look like Zabvronians and Marty responds, “no, it makes them look like nerds.” Dick Butkus cries out, “but I don’t want to look like a nerd.” Debbie promises to help but Marty says, “honey the little Asian one maybe, but the redhead, I think he’s beyond help.”  Debbie counters saying that this is what neighbors do, they help one another and they do not abduct each other.  This irritates Larry who replies, “get off it, we don’t want your dumb children.”   Debbie replies, “they’re not dumb, a little slow, not dumb. This will be a bonding experience. We’ll go shopping.” Debbie encourages the kids to clap and Larry Bird tries to stop them, but the kid revert back to their natural form. Marty says, “you know what? They’re going to blend right in.”

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