Fangs For The Fantasy

We begin with a standard artefact collection with Myka and Claudia dressing up as Geishas  in order to intercept a sale. Nice, simple snatch and grab, interrupted by a phone call from Myka’s sister Tracy – she’s pregnant.

This brings Myka much glee that she shares with the team (Artie’s still grumpy) before going on another ping hunt – this time a hockey player has super healing and super strength in Canada. Questioning the players doesn’t get them anywhere. But checking the X-Ray of the player’s (Mike’s) arm Myka (she who overachieves and has a ridiculous number of qualifications to the point of parody) realises that this isn’t the arm of Mike, as she just shook hands with him. Tim to go steal the real records – and Pete, alas, doesn’t get chance to drive the Zamboni.

Examining Mike’s real records they find that his bones are broken – not just his arm, but his knee and his ribs. But the Artefact has caused his muscles to grow around the breaks to support them. Without them, the injuries he’s sustained should probably prevent him walking, let alone playing professional hockey. They break into the locker room but, again, none of his items can be gooed, there’s no Artefact. They do hear him having an argument in the shower, though, with a player who doesn’t understand what’s making Mike so strong. Pete breaks it up, but sees that in the showers he isn’t strong and he’s in pain – he consults with Myka on the idea that someone is using the Artefact on him, he’s not using one.

They confront the owner who is less than amused by Myka’s tactless accusations (is it just me, or is Myka becoming better academically but becoming more socially inept?) and points out he has several players injured – players who are better. So if he was doing anything he’d do it to them. They’re surprised Mike isn’t one of the best players – turns out he’s only great in home games.

So they cast their eyes on the rink and since he isn’t as good in practice, to the fans. Of course finding one fan among thousands is difficult so they arrange a trap – setting up a competition where a fan can win a dinner with him and arranging for him to fake a severe injury.

Mike and Myka continue to develop a very Rom Com attraction (as Pete points out and mocks and decides he’s the “Sassy best friend”. Do not get me started on the falsetto and the finger snaps) which means they kiss before the game – and end up on the kiss cam.

Pete starts searching people surreptitiously during the match to try and find the Artefact. One fan is notably Not Happy by Mike kissing Myka. When Mike is hurt, Myka suddenly has painful stomach cramps and staggers to the bathroom and calls Pete. He arrives to find Myka very very very heavily pregnant.

They contact Artie and he decides it’s probably a wish fulfilment Artefact (Myka angrily points out she didn’t wish for this and just because her little sister is pregnant doesn’t mean she wants to be. Which is good – we also play up the “hormonal pregnant lady” schtick, which is not) and someone has wished it on Myka.

Pete thinks and realises it was his wish. When searching people’s bags he saw a small boy and wondered if he’d ever have a kid because who would share his life. Then he realised someone did share his life and… Myka became pregnant. He thinks back to what he was touching – a key chain in a woman’s bag.


They track her down and find she’s less of a devoted fan and more of a scary scary stalker. They find her grandfather, during world war 2, once urged a fellow soldier on, wishing him to do the impossible – and Pete remembers the dog tags on the key ring.

Judy, the woman, isn’t coming home though and she has ambushed and kidnapped Mike using her wishing dogtags. Looking round the house Pete and Myka see a picture of a cabin which is where they head to. And where Judy and the deeply disturbed Mike are as well, drinking romantic hot cider. She controls him by wishing his injuries back – and when Myka and Pete arrives she manages to hold Myka at axe-edge. She tries to wish Pete to die and he collapses to his knees – but when she checks him he’s fine, steals the dog tags and Myka gets to Tesla him. Then it’s just goo-bag and everything’s back to normal, all wishes undone. And, of course, Mike’s in incredible pain with all his injuries.

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