Fangs For The Fantasy

This episode begins with a flashback to 1970 and Kirby, the ghost we saw at the end of the last episode crosses the street to retrieve a ball and is struck by a car, killing him instantly.

In present day, Hal is holding the baby who is crying and he calls out for help. Tom tells him that Annie has made a schedule for every hour for the baby.  Hal says that they must destroy the schedule. Annie walks in saying that someone is watching them.  Kirby rings the door and Hal and Tom search him roughly and Kirby claims that Nina sent him.  Kirby says that he was a nursery teacher before he died and that Nina didn’t come because werewolves can’t be ghosts.

Annie invites Kirby in saying that she is not going to pretend that she doesn’t need the help.  Annie marches into Tom’s room without knocking and then complains that his room is messy.  I don’t think I could live with Annie, as she seems to have no sense of boundaries. When Annie shows him Eve’s room, Kirby makes a face when he sees all of the crucifixes hanging over the crib.  Kirby suggests that they paint the room a bright colour and add some toys.

Annie marches downstairs and orders Tom to get some nice things for the nursery. When Eve starts to cry, Annie leaves and Kirby is quick to mention to Tom that Annie has him all trained and that Annie says jump and Tom asks how high.  Clearly this ghost is a shit distruber.

Hal is doing his push ups shirtless (a beautiful sight I might add)  when Annie says that it is time for him to do the baby massage and stimulating story time. Really? He says that he cannot because on his schedule it says noon push ups and then a program on radio 4. For Hal this is important because this is how he focuses, but Annie says that they are meant to be a team. She hands him the baby telling him not to forget to use lavender oil and leaves the room.

Upstairs, Annie finds Kirby in Tom’s room cleaning up.  When she tells him that he doesn’t have to do that, he responds, ‘Tom says that you can get a bit twisted if things don’t go your way.”  When Annie asks him to repeat it, he says to forget that he said that.  Yep, Kirby is a shit disturber. Of course, Kirby wants Annie to know that he doesn’t mean to cause any trouble between them and Annie assures him that he can’t because thanks to her schedule, they’re “a well oiled machine.” Kirby takes the opportunity to ask about Hal because Eve is the war child, but Annie says that she trusts him.

Downstairs, Tom is dragging a container that he found on a skid and when Annie gets upset, he says that it will be easy to fix up. As Tom drags it outside, Kirby tells Annie that Tom is young and that perhaps it will be good to have another man around the house.  Upstairs, Kirby knocks on Tom’s door to tell him that he thought the container just needed a good clean and Tom responds “but Annie said” and again Kirby cuts him off.  Kirby then notices that all of the pictures on Tom’s wall are of families and he centers in on the one with the birthday cake, causing Tom to admit that he has never so much as had a birthday card. It turns out that the next day is Tom’s 21st birthday and Kirby says that it’s a massive day and points out that of course Hal and Annie know. Kirby says that Hal and Annie are organizing him a surprise birthday party and that he cannot say anything, or else he will ruin the surprise.

Hal pops in saying that Annie is getting hysterical downstairs and that he is not enjoying it.  Downstairs Annie is walking the baby and yells, “she has a temperature, a bloody temperature.”  Kirby calmly says to call a GP and get him to do a home visit. He suggests that they say that Tom is the father, and when Hal asks where’s the mother, Kirby responds at work. Tom sets up a fantasy in which his pretend wife is a barrister and they are a power couple.

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